and i looked up. we had an audience...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize