I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize