; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize