when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
