"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
