Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
