I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
