dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
