i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
