omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
