im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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