i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Mom said you looked used
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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