ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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