It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
