My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
