the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
