Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize