My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
