On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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