You work out of a Hotel?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
