I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
its liver damage thursday
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
