then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
