If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
