Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
