Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
