Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
