Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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