D3 body, D1 cock
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
where are my eyebrows?
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