I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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