I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
