a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
They took my balls.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
