he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
