i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
