so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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