I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
