dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
