FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
