Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize