Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
