whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
