Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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