mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
