he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
