can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize