i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
