What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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