Sponge bath it is.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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