the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
