so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
