my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
