I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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