Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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