i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
