Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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