I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
