i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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