based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
