I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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