I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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