i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
