High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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