He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Help. Why am I so naked?
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