Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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