I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
